When I am confused or upset, Roger my dear husband often says to me, “What is the kindest thing you can do for yourself right now?”. The kindest thing is always to extend a gentle attitude towards myself and then to act from that place. LovingKindness meditation has helped me learn how to become my own dear friend. That’s why I created this 5 minute lovingkindness meditation for you:
Using this meditation frequently will teach you how to be kinder towards yourself. We mothers can be our own biggest critics, when we need to be our biggest fans. Lovingkindness meditation is a gentle way to retrain your attitude towards yourself.
You can use this meditation any time of day, when active and busy, when stressed or sad, or at the end of a long day when you are cuddling a wee one to sleep. Lovingkindness is a perfect on-the-go meditation, especially when your toddler is having a melt-down in the supermarket. It is an antidote to frustration. It is always useful when someone else has triggered strong feelings in you.
When you extend kindness to yourself and to a difficult person, you can hold your own pain with kindness, and also wish for the other person to experience kindness. This doesn’t condone negative behaviour, but it creates emotional space and reduces your own suffering. Every human being wishes to be happy and well, even if their actions are sometimes unskillful.
I truly hope that this powerful meditation will be as useful for you as it has been for me. Don’t hold back. As Aesop said “No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” You are as deserving of kindness as every other being.
PS If you had a past difficult birth experience, lovingkindness is a powerful healing tool. Send focused loving attention to the physical and emotional parts of you that were hurt, to your baby and to others involved. This practise creates space and softness, where you thought there was none.