4 Top Tips to Be In-Control of Your Next Birth (When the last one was out-of-control) - The Birth Whisperer

4 Top Tips to Be In-Control of Your Next Birth (When the last one was out-of-control)

I’ll always remember the time a mama-to-be in my HypnoBirthing class said this: “Oh, I’d really like a waterbirth, but my doctor doesn’t do them”. Cue red flag. The big question has to be: If you can’t ask for what you want, and find a care provider who will respect your choices, how will you be able to ask for what you want, (and say no to what you don’t want) during your birth?

That is a very round-about way of saying, if you want to be more in control of your next birth, take action in pregnancy. In the video below I share my 4 favourite tips for being in control of your birth, ESPECIALLY when your last birth was out-of-control.

Why is it important to feel in control of your birth? The women clients I’ve supported following a traumatic birth, commonly describe their scary birth in words like these: “It was out-of-control”, “I wasn’t in charge”, “Someone else was calling the shots”, “I was at the mercy of the doctors”, and “I lost my voice”. Obviously having ownership of a birth experience is crucial to feeling good about it. When you lose that control or ownership, it’s tragic. Naturally, women wanting a better next birth want to be ‘in the driver seat’ during their next birth.

It’s one of the great paradoxes of birth, that in order to ‘let-go’ and relax into the intensity of birth, you first need to feel emotionally safe and in-control. Once you feel like you are in the center of your birth, being treated well and with kindness, surrounded by people you trust, being consulted, making choices that feel right for you at the time, then it is much much easier enter the relaxed, trusting state most conducive to a positive, (and often more natural), birth experience. 

Feeling empowered does not mean having a perfect natural  birth. I know many women who have amazing and empowered, yet medicalised, births.

Often unexpected circumstances can impact your wishes for your birth. ‘Routine’ interventions and procedures, like induction, can make you feel that your dream of an empowered birth is slipping away. But, you have the power to make choices according to your values, and to  ask for what you need, so you can surrender into whatever path your birth takes, even if it’s not perfect.

Watch the video to learn my 4 top tips stay in-charge of your next birth, including: Be well supported, Get your power back,  Be assertive, and Keep asking for what you want.


Warmest wishes,



PS Need extra support to get past a specific birth fear, trauma or memory? I am available for 1-1 skype sessions. I can’t wait to help you clear the baggage, so you can move on to a better next birth.



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The Best Birth Magazine

Know your choices, make empowering decisions, and get feel-good confidence to follow your own birthing dreams.